Power of Thoughts
Recovery is a choice that must be made continuously by the addict. Relapse always starts with a thought. Once the seed of feeding the addiction is planted, you must deal with it within a few seconds. If your inner voice says, “One time won’t hurt”, the addiction will always win.
After struggling with marijuana addiction for over 30 years, I have concluded that every decision must process through the recovery filter. I have been clean for over a dozen years. Every choice I make must align with a conscience attempt to remain healthy and free without returning to addiction.
There are a variety factors which may trigger a relapse. Our brain is loaded with NMDA receptors which are responsible for memory function. Have you ever heard an old song or smelled an odor reminding you of a former experience? Memory receptors in our brain are being activated when this occurs.
After quitting weed for over two years, I went for a ride with my old friend Stan whom I hadn’t seen for a long time. When riding in his car, he played a “Foreigner” CD over his loud 5.1 sound system. It felt like we were teenagers again. To make things more memorable, he pulled out a joint, fired it up and the car became saturated with the familiar scent of excellent weed.
Without giving much thought, I shared the joint with him and became tremendously high. I thought that this was going to be a one-time episode. Unfortunately, the next day we repeated the same caustic pattern. Stan gave me a small bag of marijuana before he left town. Needless to say, I was controlled by the addiction again.
Addiction recovery is difficult to maintain, yet vital to living a life of purpose. Many people choose the 12-step program to become and remain clean. Fortunately, I was able to achieve sobriety with just me and God. I have slipped many times, therefore reaching a point where I recognize triggers and avoid them at all costs.
It has been over 12 years since I’ve ingested drugs, yet I have to continue to be aware of my weaknesses. I must manage every thought before it manifests into action. Most alcohol and drug rehab centers would label me as a life-long addict, although I have been clean for many years. Personally, I don’t label myself as an addict because I have chosen to become a completely different person.
To learn more what it is like to break free from three decades of addiction, please download and read my book, “30 Years High”. Learn from my mistakes without making your own.